The top ten mistakes in conflict resolution

1. Not listening effectively and butting in whilst the other person is speaking – I think this is one of the most underestimated things in conflict resolution. You must listen to the other person’s point of view.
2. Not apologising – 50% of complaints in the NHS are caused by people not getting an apology. Say sorry it’s pretty simple.
3. Not having a polite meet and greet type person on the door. One key reason why the NHS gets so much trouble in it’s Accident and Emergency Wards is because it doesn’t understand the official meet and greet approach. It doesn’t take long to meet and greet your customers and make them feel welcome.
4. A lack of building rapport – A lack of communicating the way people actually want to be communicated to. This is the same reason why people get bitten by dogs because a lack of communication and trust.
5. Getting too close to people – If you get too close, people can feel that you are invading their personal space and you could get a startle response with many lashing out. This happens a lot with elderly people who are confused, it’s often simply a reflex.
6. Not facing the other person properly – your feet point in the direction you want your body to go in. If my feet are pointing towards the door I obviously want to be somewhere else.
7. Not talking in their language or tonality – The way you talk to 90 year-old Mrs Miggins would and should be very different to how you talk to a drunk teenager. You have to try and get on the same wavelength and speak their language.
8. Jumping in and flaring up too quickly – In these situations you have to do your best to control your temper and try to take their opinion into consideration.
9. Not giving people options – “It’s my way or the highway”. “It’s tough – we haven’t got any appointments”. If you give people options if forces people to use their reasoning part of their brain (Frontal lobe intelligence part) and often makes them more reasonable
10. Not keeping promises -  If someone says: “I will get back to you” the customer is expecting that person to follow that action up. You must always make sure you do get back to people and follow up on your promises or solutions.

I cover all of these areas much more extensively in our POLITE Model.